One word to describe how you felt the moment you discovered you were pregnant?
Anxious
Why did you choose adoption?
To give her more than I could, a mommy and daddy who were together, a whole and stability family.
What and who played the biggest role in your decision to place your child for adoption?
My unborn child played the biggest role. I loved her more than anyone or anything. I wanted to provide her with the things I could not have while growing up. My parents were divorced. The guy I call dad had adopted me, my birth father was never around. I wanted her to have two parents who love more than anything. I didn’t want her to feel empty.
What did you think about adoption before you placed? And after you placed?
I thought that I could never do it. I never thought I would have it in me to do that. After, I placed I realized that love is why parents choose to place.
Looking back what do you wish you had known then that you know today?
That I would be okay, I spent so much time while I was pregnant grieving. I didn’t think I was going to be okay. It turns out God had a plan for me all along.
If you could dispel any myths about adoption or birth mothers- what would you say?
We love our children so much. We didn’t give them up we gave them more. We’re not all on drugs, or unfit to raise a child. We wanted to provide them with so much more than we were able to at that point in our life.
When if ever have you felt most discouraged about your decision to place?
I was readmitted to the hospital 3 days after coming home. I had a uterus infection. I chose to tell my “dad” and his wife. He hadn’t been around much since I was in highschool. He and his family, told me I was selfish, and he should have raised my daughter.
What’s been the greatest reward or surprise of being a birth mother?
Loving her family so much. I feel as if I am family, I gained wonderful extended family when I placed.
What’s your greatest wish for birth mothers today?
I wish that your family respects your wishes, and you build a wonderful relationship with them. I wish you love and support.
What excites you about BraveLove?
BraveLove loves all aspects of adoption, and supports us all. I wear these bravelove bracelets I got at a birthmom retreat daily, as a reminder of the beauty of adoption. I hope that others see them and visit the website to find out more! I love hearing adoptee, adoptive parents, and other birthparents perspectives.
